During my short-lived visit to a department store yesterday (which will go unnamed) I attempted the unthinkable. I asked a sales person who was ticketing some pants a simple question.
"Excuse me, what time do you close tonight?"
It was as if I had stolen the woman’s child from her breast. Her eyes filled with rage, she angrily slammed the ticketing gun on the rack (that thing is sharp), and just stared at me. No words. Nothing. I stared back and thought it best to leave her department. I thought it better to be compassionate than to snap back.
Holidays have you a stir emotionally? Is everyone around you at their wits end at work? Generally we all know that it’s almost impossible to control anything outside of your brain, the good news is that we have choice in how we are going to respond in a moment to another’s chaos. We can make the choice to "cultivate compassion" in moments of mayhem.
In the spirit of sharing, here are a few reminders to conquer the chaos that comes at you as we hold hands together to get through another holiday season. These are some of the suggestions from my book PRACTICAL CHAOS: A Reporter’s Notebook on the Exquisite Nature of Resilience.
1. Take time for yourself: If you don’t feed that inner well of peace ( I promise it does exist in there somewhere) bottom-line is that you’re going to burn out. Just a minute or two of peace in the morning before tackling the day, does wonders.
2. Don’t take anything personally: You never know what is going on in the other person’s head. For example, the woman at the department store might be reflecting on some horrid holiday memory.
3. Respond don’t react: Remember that the memories of the holiday season trigger all sorts of joy and pain. Feelings are easily trampled upon, finances might be a concern and the fantasy perfect holiday meal might be marred by an unruly relative.
4. Service feeds the soul: No need to preach here. The best way to get out of your own junk is to serve another.
5. Surrender to imperfection: Need I say more.
6. Take a breath: Might sound cliche, but taking a breath stops any moment. It gives you a possible, yet fleeting opportunity to hold your tongue.
In my
