My dreams of my secret peaceful work/life refuge were shattered on Friday during rush hour. I approached the line of cars in front of me which were waiting like ants to get to the top of the hill, but instead to cross the Throgs Neck Bridge. The passengers in the cars in front of me were preparing to fork over five bucks and it was an especially long ling. That excited me. Odd – right? Not for me. Even though I was exhausted and approaching burnout. This was an opportunity.
Being a part of the streaming cars – while an exercise in patience – is generally a peaceful experience because I choose to make it one. It was a beautiful sunny day on Friday. I could smell the water, the cool breeze of spring was trying to make an appearance. I make it a habit to count my breaths, because waiting on that line can be darn annoying. It stops the moment of traffic chaos and reminds to get to the stillness within, instead of concentrating on the chaos outside of me.
Generally, I let people in front of me, ignore the honking horns, and engage in some deep breathing to prepare myself for the traffic on the other side of the bridge heading into Long Island to work. I take the high road and smile at all the drivers who are enraged on the line as they head into the workplace.
Closer and closer I came to the booth and with that I entered deeper and deeper into an aware relaxed state of mind. I was successfully practicing my worklife balance technique of not buying into commuter chaos. Then the unthinkable happened. Right before the car in front of me was to pass – the toll booth collectors changed shifts.
I remained undaunted. My "enlightened" state of mind was still in the peaceful zone. I watched, car by car, the lines in the other lanes move along smoothly. "Just breath," I repeated to myself. I’m not sure what happened, but I suddenly decided that they were doing this just to get me riled up. All that peaceful meditation went out the window – albeit momentarily.
"Come on," I said to myself. Then out loud I exclaimed, "You have got to be kidding me!" Enlightenment was taken like a rug from beneath my feet. I was running just a tad late and it threw me off. Actually, I let it happen. What happened next made me squirm in my seat.
The person in front of me finally paid, but he forgot his change, so he stopped just on the other side of the booth. Suddenly, the lane went into lock down. The police stopped the traffic in the lane; I had not even made it under the awning of the booth. I had no where to go. Toll booth interruptus again. The officer in the booth put his hand up, told me to "Just stay put!" and the driver of the car in front of me slowly emerged from his car. With a soft limp, he slowly made his way back to the booth to collect his change. He looked right at me and smiled an apology. I began to soften, feeling sad for the older gentleman who was clearly challenged. And then it was my turn to pay.
The toll booth officer was completely calm. He looked at me as I handed him a five spot, "Everyone is in such a hurry, people need to slow down!" I nodded, thinking, "No, people, including myself, need to take a breath."
