A series of events have kept me somewhat off the grid in the last two weeks. There was the completion of an NPR story, double duty at the TV station, the release of a book in which I wrote a chapter and the negotiation of a business deal which is changing my life. But everything was somehow put on the side burner (notice how I didn’t say back burner) with a new arrival. Skylar Blake.
What really took me off the grid is this little girl. I’m officially a new auntie. You can read about this beautiful child’s unusual trip from the heavens into the arms of my sister in her post: On Nonhuman Animals and Human Babies.
On Skype
I was skyping non-stop, speaking with relatives and friends, making airline arrangements, ordering baby stuff, and rethinking my life as this new one came just about over night.
You see, Skylar was adopted. While my sister was hoping to adopt a child, she and her husband had met with many challenges. Then suddenly in 24-hours, (you can read it in her story) she was a mommy and I was an auntie.
We can’t always prepare for such events, but we can have a bit of an action plan for such dramatic life events that challenge our work life balance. This is where the rubber hits the road for me in my work life merge. “Organized chaos” is better than “regular chaos” don’t you think?
A Side Burner Mentality
When I say “side burner” that’s what I mean. It goes to the side for a bit, it’s not forgotten. Time is made for it at a later date, perhaps for the following week. For me quite a bit went to the side, but only for a few days, and not everything took a hit. My NPR story for example. There was no getting around that deadline, but other things could wait.
This little peanut set my “Judy Martin’s work life balance bootcamp” into motion. I have a list of priorities. It’s an actual check-off list of needs – short term and long term. It’s derived from 20 years in news, dealing with the intense day-to-day action which changes on a dime – and my experience working with the dying as a hospice volunteer.
My list may not gel with others, but there are some wisdom principles that I do adhere to. Our burden’s might cross a spectrum, our lives dramatically different, but in responding to change in the work life merge, it’s sometimes easier to throw things on the “side” burner temporarily, with perspective:
1. No one’s gonna die. Most of the time you’re not faced with a life-challenging situation where missing a deadline results in such misfortune.
2. There’s always tomorrow: I’ve been known to break out in song on this. Yes, some things can be put off until tomorrow or even the next day or next week, without any consequences. This takes sitting down with a pen and paper and figuring it out.
3. You’re not perfect: Give yourself permission to make changes in the routine without beating yourself up. Be tolerant of your choices and of yourself in crisis. We are quite hard on ourselves and the only one who suffers from that is our ego.
4. Be the ultimate commander of your time: This has to do with conscious choices about how you spend your time. Yes, work and family fill all the hours of the day, but where can you find just one hour to do things a little differently? Waking up an hour early or going to bed an hour late just one day a week can alter your day, the same as taking an extra hour for sleep. Examine the hours in the day, and the days in the week. Where is there a window for some peace?
5. Determine your “volume vigilance’ standards: I have a list of media that I read. When everything is hitting the fan simultaneously, I change my media intake. That goes for emails and the news I read every day. I only skimmed the major news papers over the last two weeks and read only what was relevant to the current stories or blogs I was writing.
What are the principles that govern your work life merge? Do you have an exit plan in place when crisis hits? Please share!
