Vietnam is often refered to as ‘McNamara’s War” by political hacks in the know.  Former U-S Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara is credited with being the “chief architect of the Vietnam war” as stated in this Los Angeles Times blog. That title is clearly not recogized as an honorable work life distinction, but in his death it dominates the headlines.  

The blog goes on to chronicle the books that have sealed McNamara’s place in history,  despite his work to divest the world of nuclear arms and his work with poor nations. Although he subseqently denounced the war in his 1995 memoir, The Tragedy and Lessons of Vietnam, it was too little - way too late for the public and pundits to digest. 

The word “legacy” as defined in Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary: anything handed down from the past as from an ancestor or predecessor. It wasn’t meant to have a negative connotation judging by its true roots, but it’s meaning had been kidnapped long before the dictates of our time (ie. the legacy of ancient Rome).

In our era, the Bernie Madoffs, the former chief of Enron, the politicians who have not quite lived up to expectations, have marred the word further. So today, I vote for a conscious cultivation of the morally good-to-the-core kind of legacy. That means aligning our core human values with our work, career, or what I refer to as vocation.

Few of us have the opportunity to call the shots on a war, engage in a public political battle, or make a mark in nuclear disarmament. But in our daily lives we do have the opportunity to be of positive influence, even in little ways. And it’s not just about our work – it’s about how we work, why we work, what motivates us to work, and the values we  align ourselves with as we work.

No longer are our working and living experiences all that separate, we are truly a work life nation.  Now because of social media which allows information to travel at the speed of light across the planet, there’s a moral and business imperative to stick to the meat of our business message from a more human place. If not, we shall be recorded in history not just in books, but forever in our digital age as less than – or far worse. 

As for McNamara, he is human, just like the rest of us. We all make mistakes, but owning up to them or correcting them sooner rather than later, might help us to avoid the tragedy that McNamara endured. His true “legacy” by definition, should be the work he did with developing and poor nations, and his strong voice on disarmament. But as the term has been corrupted, his “legacy” will instead be McNamara’s War.

The bottom line is that the images and sounds of Vietnam is how we will remember McNamara, and few would argue otherwise. Do we really think about our “legacy” when we work and do business? Perhaps we should  just concentrate on being more conscious of making the right choices in every moment. That means conscious action not just in support of ones own business goals, but also to be impeccably be aligned with our values as we impact others in life, work and business.

While scrambling for a job, in the hectic chaos of that search often we forget to look in our own backyard for resources. There, one can find not only a contact or two, but perhaps some inspiration in the work life challenges that come along with the job search.

In a recent conversation with career transition expert Bob Simmons, CEO of Career Transitions Associates, he shared a story of a boomer who after many attempts sending her resume into the black hole of the typical job search, attended a career support club or salon. The results were not immediate, but instead organic.

One relationship lead to another, and another. Within weeks, word of her skills virally spread throughout this support network to an appropriate employer who was magically searching for someone with her profile. Since she was heading back to work due to her 401-K being demolished in the market tumble, her disposition wasn’t exactly peachy. Being able to vent weekly at her Job Guide Club, she received guidance and along with kind words of support.

Bob Simmons runs the Job Guide Club in Plainview, Long Island.  It’s now up to 31 members who meet every other week and support one another during the highs and lows of the job search. I asked him a few questions about the job hunting  process in general. 

JUDY: What are the greatest vehicles to network in the current climate-in order of importance?

BOB: Face to face networking followed by phone networking followed by social networking on the web followed by e-mail networking.

JUDY: What happens at a job salon or club?

BOB: The clubs I have been running for a number of years provide the following advantages:

1. Gain complete proficiency with “Tell Me About Yourself,” exercises. Can you tell a person why you will be a good employee if hired? 
2. Discussion of  job search concerns and issues ranging from “I lost my job last last week” to advise on negotiating a new salary offer.
3. Discussion around difficult subject matters:  ”How do you handle two DWI convictions and some jail time over the past five years when you are looking for a new job?”
4. Support from present club members along with a network support list of over 1500 names, the majority of whom, have landed jobs.
5. Networking Socials: Periodic social networking parties which bring together a number of other job clubs to mingle and further network.
6. Recently we established a CTA Job Club Member Yahoo Group which now has over 75 members and is growing. This promotes further job search and network communication between club members.

JUDY: How important is it to dive into the social media landscape to network for a job?

BOB: Very important. The more eyes and ears of people who know I am looking for
a job, the better the chance for success. This is a concept I repeat over and over again.

JUDY: What are the three most important things you should be able to communicate to a prospective employer within minutes?

BOB:  Career focus, followed by your applicable business strengths and examples –  along with your education if appropriate.

JUDY: What are the best exercises for the brain and morale that one can engage in while job hunting? 

1. Stay in today, meaning don’t project the future and possible negative ramifications. ie: “What will happen if I don’t have a job six months from now?”
2. Create a daily “To Do” List to keep your job search focused and ongoing.
3. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. Avoid those who live life with a moan and groan attitude.
4. Pay attention to the little events in your job search, such as a recruiter calling you to discuss your resume which may lead to no further activity, or someone willing to walk your resume into a company –  both of which may require follow-up.

Changing jobs or looking for a new one does not have to be a lonely journey. Building a community around your search through networking can bare fruit in career and support in your work life transition. Career coach & resume writer Bob Simmons can be reached at 516-501-0717.

Actress and film director Nandita Das will be the first one to tell you that she chooses to be a part of stories that are not commonly told, but need to be heard. Whether on screen in such movies as Before The Rains, or behind the scenes,  there is a theme of social injustice that beckons to be acknowledged.

In the wake of one of  the most anticipated debates of the season,  every Washington commentator is eagerly weighing in on both sides. While debating Palin's credibility was all the rage this week, and her folksy image the target of the tabloids,  I shall pass on judging her performance in contrast to a senate icon. 

I'll say this – on the issue of work life balance or concerns, both have faced personal challenges which might make them more conscious on this topic. In a touching moment, Senator Biden aligned himself with those who understand what it is like to struggle as a single parent. He refered to his own family tradgedy when his wife and daughter were killed in an accident in the 1970's. We know of Palin's personal world as well. Her baby son was born with Down syndrome.

Beyond that, without further comment, I'm bagging the idea of deconstructing the debate in favor of bringing attention to some other powerful women who have a steady track record rocking the boat, while being at the top of their game. (That's not a jab at Palin, but instead, an offer through a different lens.)

Fortune just came out with its list of the 50 most powerful women in business. Here' are the top five whose careers have soared. Upon examination of the company websites associated with these women, you will see common threads in their workplace programs:

1    Indra Nooyi - PepsiCo
2    Irene Rosenfeld -  Kraft Foods
3    Pat Woertz - Archer Daniels Midland
4    Anne Mulcahy -  Xerox
5    Angela Braly -  Wellpoint
 

All of these companies offer  some sort of work life balance initiative, flexibility or wellness programs that take the concept of integrating the working and living experience very seriously. One might argue that with women running these organizations there might be a sensitivity to the work life "merge"  and the need for balance while juggling the job and family. But that characterization runs short. Remember, these women were singled out in their careers for business performance. Regardless of whether these women are moms or run families -  the welfare of their employees (their human capital) is clearly valuable to them.

One may only be able to make an anecdotal case as to whether such work life programs are impacting the bottom line, but you don't have to do a deep analysis to figure out that these women are doing something right. Just ask the people over at Harpo which is headed up by Oprah Winfrey. She came in at number eight.

The truth is that no one can really take your power, it is yours to give or hold onto. It’s an important component of keeping a handle on our worklife balance situations. That’s why I felt it important to respond when David Bohl at Slow Down Fast (check out his post he has a hilarious video there)tagged me on an original question posed by Donna Karlin at Better Perspective. At her OnGrowing Weekly Challenge she asks…

"Who are you giving your personal power away to and how are you going to take it back?"

That which we give attention to will thrive whether it be a negative or positive trait within ourselves. This rule also applies to the way we either harness our own personal power or allow it to be taken away or dwindle. Whether at home, in the workplace or our careers, we are creatures of habit. So developing better practices of how we use our energy and who we choose to have relationships with directly corresponds to the richness of our own personal power and personal development.

Leadership consultant Stuart Levine writes about ones approach to "investing in relationships" in his book the Six Fundamentals of Success: The Rules for Getting it Right for Yourself and Your Organization. Here’s what he says about "seeking out the energy generators."

"Surrounding yourself with energy generators is the highest form of self respect. More than any other change you can make on your own, this will transform your work life."

In answer to the original question, I think it’s worth checking in with ones self on a weekly basis to contemplate where your energy is going and whether it is being put to good use. Second, examining personal relationships. If someone is draining, I would give that relationship a second thought. I don’t however believe that ridding ourselves of the relationship is always the key. It’s worth looking at your role in the experience and whether you can change your approach, position or attitude toward that person. No need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

That’s where I’d head back to David Bohl’s original post on this question. He said his mantra is to "empower others." When you do that unconditionally, without expectation, you have nothing to lose. You have only given away the gift of your acceptance. My mother has always told me,"As we elevate others, we elevate ourselves." That means rising above in all situations, and giving freely from the heart, without draining the soul. Holding a person in your awareness without judgment frees you from the binds of negative energetic attachments.

As for reclaiming energy, my opinion is that since your gave it away in the first place it is yours to take back. But to sustain that means personal cultivation of resilience on an inner level. If we don’t consistently work on building that inner stillness, it’s harder to stand our ground. And as we build that stillness within – we will attract and share that calm with others who cross our path – while being compassionate to those who might benefit from our energy.

As Eckhart Tolle said in his book (p.94), Stillness Speaks:

" No relationship can thrive without the sense of spaciousness that comes with stillness. If spacious stillness is missing, the relationship will be dominated by the mind and can easily be taken over by problems and conflict. If stillness is there, it can contain anything."

For related posts on this topic check out the following:

Using a Practical Approach to Cultivate Resilience

WorkLife Monitor Podcast: Happiness at Work

WorkLife Balance: Can We have a Moment of Silence?

Meditation as a Tool for Success

Wheat from the Chaff & Relationships

Taking an Office Break to Meditate

A fractured view of our own character or baggage often appears when we suddenly find ourselves in a state of crisis or chaos, especially in a workplace environment. Taken with our own perspective, the blame game is an easy road to take.

“The problem is them…the issue is really not my concern…the conflict began at that company… things started to head downhill when they got involved,” my mind would comment and then answer, “no let’s take a closer look.”

Since 9/11 many of us, (including myself) came face to face in a new and deeper way with our own mortality, our fate, and our purpose. WorkLife Balance suddenly made an appearance and we learned that the human capital so taken for granted, are really disguised human beings – with a desire to have a more purposeful and meaningful worklife in a 24/7 world.

When I was invited to participate in Luciano Passuello’s Litemind.com group writing project, posting on conquering chaos was a familiar exercise for me as I’ve been writing about chaos in the workplace since that fateful day six years ago. I’ve been brought to my knees in humility, and elated with joy on this journey of navigating through chaos as a news reporter and hospice volunteer.

The greatest revelation was that while most chaos appears to be outside of ourselves, it’s really in the personal response to such events – which can bring about the most peace. Using chaos as fuel for personal transformation, we create a well of stillness to call upon when in crisis. It’s up to us to cultivate resilience within our hearts and minds. So here is my list of 100 Ways to Personally Conquer Chaos:

1. Surrender to the process of self examination; don’t fight it.

2. Forgive instead of condemn.

3. Relinquish anger and replace it with understanding.

4. Burn the pain of your ego and use it as fuel for transformation.

5. Embrace your spiritual nature instead of your ego.

6. Be, act, and respond in the moment.

7. Embrace gratitude in a time of crisis.

8. Practice awareness with those who bother you.

9. Adopt a humble approach in conflict.

10. Practice compassion on a daily basis.

11. Develop a routine of exercise to burn off nervous energy.

12. Relinquish pride in an argument.

13. Know the difference between Righteousness and Self Righteousness.

14. Meditate or just stop everything for 5 minutes every day.

15. Know for yourself when you are acting from the higher or lower ego.

16. Identify meaning in your daily work.

17. Suspend judgment of your co-workers.

18. Devote yourself to a particular volunteer activity or cause.

19. Respond from a place of wisdom instead of reacting from a place of fear.

20. Be silent.

21. Don’t be attached to being right.

22. Use your breath to consume chaos.

23. Practice being nice.

24. Instead of blaming someone else, look at how you participated in a conflict.

25. Relinquish all personal unworthiness no matter how small.

26. Acknowledge how you have been blessed in your life.

27. Remove guilt from your emotional vocabulary.

28. Remember that here is no such thing as perfection.

29. Love your co-workers, even though it’s tough.

30. Do a daily act of kindness.

31. See the sacred in all people.

32. Don’t be seduced by the need for image.

33. Don’t sacrifice authenticity for perceived image.

34. Nurture yourself with a gift.

35. Fulfill obligations with grace.

36. Keep an open space in your heart for moments of understanding others.

37. See others as a reflection of yourself.

38. Cultivate inner peace.

39. Anticipate the divine in your life, know you are being guided.

40. Know the difference between engaging your ego and trusting your intuition.

41. Embrace diversity at work.

42. Speak from the heart.

43. Listen with the heart.

44. Purify your negative thoughts by breathing them out.

45. Remember sometimes, “It’s not about me.”

46. Manage your time efficiently.

47. Split the tension by writing about a conflict and then ripping up the paper.

48. Battle

    anxiety with a desktop slideshow of your favorite pictures and music.

49. Make choices without agonizing about them afterwards.

50. Don’t buy into the dramas of others.

51. Desire to be more understanding of those in crisis.

52. Make consciousness choices about who you spend time with.

53. Be unconditionally loving

54. Be discriminating when choosing to share personal information at work.

55. Let go of grief.

56. Eliminate any thoughts of revenge.

57. Hesitate before speaking.

58. Remember that you were born perfect, you just forgot the essence of who you are.

59. Start your day with an intention.

60. Remember that your thoughts influence your words and actions.

61. When a negative thought arises, tell yourself, “not now.”

62. Go beyond your comfort zone to embrace someone in need.

63. Consciously change your perception.

64. Release tension from your body with desk chair exercises.

65. Do an act of service for a co-worker spontaneously.

66. When adversity brings uncertainty, just be a witness to it instead of reacting.

67. Expand your vision of a person at work.

68. Be compassionately detached when a co-worker is in an emotional crisis.

69. Write a list of your strengths.

70. Create daily work habits that foster creativity.

71. Phone a co-worker instead of e-mailing.

72. Develop a personal method of cultivating resilience.

73. Effectively communicate your needs at work

74. Don’t gossip.

75. Avoid accusatory statements.

76. Mobilize your workers for a group project.

77. Keep an open mind.

78. Embrace change, do not run from it.

79. Promise yourself to count to three in conflict.

80. Visualize yourself being kind.

81. Keep your complaints to yourself unless you can positively effect change.

82. Don’t always try to fix people or situations.

83. Allow people to be who they are without trying to change them.

84. Monitor your behavior and words when speaking with workers.

85. Don’t tolerate cruelty or disrespect toward yourself or another.

86. Create boundaries at work.

87. Ask a colleague about what’s bothering them and just listen.

88. Don’t send unnecessary e-mails.

89. Limit your personal phone time.

90. Take a walk.

91. Create internet surfing rules for yourself at work.

92. When in doubt, wait it out. If there is no immediate solution to a conflict at work give it time.

93. Do not send confidential information through e-mail.

94. Schedule more time than needed for an important project.

95. Identify when you personally sabotage yourself at work.

96. Look into worklife balance initiatives at work.

97. Plan a vacation.

98. Limit your working hours.

99. Create your own personal worklife balance commandments.

100. Don’t answer the black berry with every bing.

Greetings and Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow career or worklife bloggers. I’m actually working in the newsroom tonight but had some thoughts about what I have learned recently from a few of you who pound the keys to inspire on the topic of worklife balance.

Here are links to a few pearls of wisdom to get you off the couch after the big meal and give you a jump-start toward a more meaningful worklife. There are so many more – but I’m off to work!

Thanks to Priscilla Palmer for her Personal Development List which turned us on to each other in a brand new insightful way.

Thanks to Mel at Monday Morning Power for his intuitive disposition and collective way of bringing a voice of reason to the blogosphere.

Thanks to Curt Rosengren at Map Maker for his courage to ride against the tide through sweeping change.

Thanks to Adam Kayce at Monk at Work for his tight Monkifestos which lays out simple principles to help people to work from the heart.

Thanks to Tim Ferriss for his 4-Hour Workweek which offered lots of fodder for discussion in the 24/7 world we live in.

Thanks to Cali Yost at Work Life Fit for being a trailblazing pioneer in the elusive quest for worklife balance.

Thanks to Gretchen Rubin at Happiness Project for her 12 Commandments and her post on identifying your triggers.

Thanks to David Bohl at Slow Down Fast for his kind nature and ability to not just listen to those around him, but hear.

Thanks to Edward Mills at Evolving Times for his 11 Tips to Lighten Up the Compulsively Serious and his wisdom on conscious evolution.

It’s been a week of compu-hell. There I said it. And I know I’m not alone. And as much as I tried to breathe through one technical issue after the next, it was hard to get past the moment and onto other business concerns. Sometimes we get so caught up in one problem and our inability to "fix it" instead of just giving it – and ourselves – a break. And then we think our conundrum is worse than our workplace colleagues.

Obviously, it’s all relative. If someone tells you they are having a rough day you can’t really compare your worklife chaos to someone elses. Take for example an audio technician named Larry who I met this past weekend. I REALLY felt for this guy. Check out his daily worklife scenario.

A WorkLife That’s Tough on the Ears

Excited about the purchase of some new audio equipment for my newly designed podcast (it’s on the way!) I enthusiastically headed into Sam Ash last week, a music and audio professional supply store. Who knew I’d get a lesson in worklife balance & serenity. In the store for only moments here’s what I encountered along with Larry, the nice gentleman who was helping me with my new equipment:

• Two joyful pre-teens circling and sampling various keyboards while their parents checked out a new speaker system from which sprang low notes that quaked through the body.
• A jazz musician who was checking out a new guitar ripping with non-stop licks that made your stomach feel as if it was on a roller coaster.
• A patient soul behind the counter who showed me how to use my new toy while juggling phone calls and other customer needs.

That’s a taste of Larry’s worklife. Asprin is a staple in that workplace. Larry peaks on occasion with a sigh to release a bubble of anxiety, but he gets right back to work. Larry loves his work, he loves music and he’s very good with people. So while his eardrums and patience get a daily beating, he sticks it out.

We all encounter chaos and stress on the job. From the Wall Street broker to the office techie who spends 12 hours at a time fixing other people’s computer problems.I thought working in a TV newsroom trumped just about anything as far as chaotic working environments; but then I thought, hmmmm…

• What about those who work within health care or emergency positions tackling disasters like the raging fires in Southern California.
• And the Harlem elementary school teacher who fears for her well-being just commuting to work in the morning.
• Or donning a police uniform on a beat in South Central LA.

Again, it’s all relative. We must all weigh the angst of our working conditions with our passion for our work. When is the stress too much? What are we willing to sacrifice to do what we love? When do we hit the tipping point when our work is not fulfilling enough to keep up a good front?

STAY TUNED: As promised there will be more stories and podcasts from the worklife experts at the International Spirit at Work Awards.

The perception of being unfairly treated can do more harm than just putting a monkey-wrench into your happiness scale, it might be bad for the heart. A study done by the University College London reveals that those who complained of being unfairly treated were 55% more likely to have a coronary incident, like a heart attack.

The findings were based on an analysis of data from more than 8,000 civil servants over a ten year period in the UK. The study also revealed that workers who reported a high level of unfairness were more likely to be smokers, hypertensives, obese, sedentary, and non-drinkers.

You don’t have to live in the UK or be a British civil servant to understand that this study, while broad, puts some muscle in the argument for employers to spend a little more time on the happiness of their employees and general worklife policy. It actually matters a lot, not only on a human level but also with regard to productivity.

A key to productivity is to "know thyself." An employee might ask herself…

• What are my strengths and limitations?
• Will my workplace allow me the freedom to make business decisions without being criticized at every turn?
• Can I work within the deadline or time constraints layed out by the company?
• Can I work effectively and happily in this working environment?

These are all difficult questions to tackle for an employee whose voice is not heard, and who is not treated fairly – with respect. If an employee is feeling unappreciated, made to feel unworthy as a person, or even discriminated against – self worth is likely to plummet. Such an environment is likely to contribute to stress or depression; factors that impact productivity. The bottom-line is that an employee who feels less than, might be indecisive or less productive as a whole. Treating employees fairly is just good business.