Get on With it! Not so fast.

The sign post to the left asks you not to enter the building through the sliding doors, but instead to go around the building  – a further distance – through a different door. There’s a good reason for this. Simply, this beautiful garden and new grass is still taking hold in front of the porch, and it needs to grow a bit before anyone takes a walk on it.

This garden’s roots are still taking a hold in the earth. Afterall, it takes time for plants to grow. So it’s not ready for visitors. It’s like a project that you are trying to push through, only to be told, “It’s not ripe yet. We need more time to work on it.”

Waiting for a project to be completed and delivered can be excruciating, especially when you have finished your end of the bargain, but the other parties have yet to deliver.

There may be very good reasons that the project is still percolating, and there might be some loose ends to be tied. Perhaps a little more time will birth a better outcome?

Experiencing this predicament recently, I was faced with three choices:

1. Force the issue

2. Ask politely at which stage the project is currently gestating and when it might be moving along

3. Wait patiently and persevere with a peaceful attitude

Since I’ve been involved with this important career project for some time, with complete faith in the parties I’m working with, and knowing that they have kept me informed at every stage, I only had one choice. No. 3. And with that automatically came the gift of Peace in Perseverance; an exercise that helps build resilience, instead of depleting energy.

Here’s why: When we are conflicted, we have a strong desire to influence the flow and will often take actions that might be counterproductive to the path; the path, being the steady course. Albeit, a slow and frustrating one. But it’s that journey of patient perseverance that can yield surprisingly creative fruit.

In the example above, I did everything I could do to make my needs known other than issue an ultimatum. But it was in my best interest to keep from over reacting. I trusted the people I was working with, I understood that it was in my best interest to allow them more time, and I didn’t want to throw a money wrench into the creative process. Upon surrendering to the process, I dispersed my frustration -thus leading me through a more peaceful waiting period.

Carol Anthony, author of The Philosophy of the I-Ching, best describes such a conflict of personal development in this manner:

“Inner conflict motivates us to strive to influence, and to try to serve as a fulcrum for action; we do this because our inner attitude is infected with ambition to make swift progress. Desire motivates us to sacrifice the correct way to make progress…we doubt the creative process.”

It’s difficult to decide if we should pull the plug when some are not moving as fast as we’d like. I always try to remember that there is another side to the story yet to be revealed. Still, when is enough, enough? And by which means do you take a stand in the workplace or in business?

This week I know of 7 people who passed. I wasn’t particularly close to any of them, but I am more deeply connected to those who remain behind in mourning.

Their stories differed, but more than half the people had died unexpectedly, and by most accounts hadn’t spent enough time with family and friends. Instead, some opted to make work or their career – their God. That’s a strong statement, but one worth thinking about as many of us review the integration of working and living in a 24/7 world.

WorkLife balance is not, so much, an issue for those who are passing, but it is certainly a concern for those of us enduring the dying process of a loved one. I recently blogged on this in my post Work Life Balance: The Complexity and Sensitivity of Elder Care, which was a response to author Cali Williams Yost post on the passing of her mom.

Losing a parent, child or partner generally stops us in the moment. Everything stops. We reflect, we mourn and we go on. Often we contemplate the “what-ifs” and what was “left unsaid” which brings me to a beautiful story about a great chap whose funeral I attended this afternoon.

This man I speak of, Charles, is the patriarch of his family. 6 children and 14 grandchildren filled the pews of a church on Long Island today. He was the father of a close childhood friend of mine. A successful business man, he spent a lot of time traveling away from the family or at the club. But he was always there when you needed him.

The day was a touching remembrance of how genuinely gracious this man was. He gave to more charities than I can mention and bought enough girl scout cookies to feed an army.  In his typical satirical manor he also managed to have the last word. In suit jacket pockets, dresser drawers, and in a journal, this man had made his mark in the form of lovingly written messages to his family.

Written on small pieces of paper and scattered throughout the house, these missives spoke of love, good times with the “gang” and a life well lived. He had the forethought to comfort his family even after his death. Fully present to the day he passed, he made every minute count during the last three years of his life – even in the face of the unknown. He made a conscious decision to fill his last days with family and close friends. It made me think. How many of us are that present in our daily lives, conscious of our connection to family and friends?

Recently I was speaking to a close friend of mine who lives in Atlanta. Lamenting over a recent passing of a mutual friend, we vowed to make a better attempt at spending more time together. It’s funny how death makes you do that and talk of such things.

In completing our conversation, enthused about the prospect of seeing each other sooner than later, she asked me to look up into the sky. I ahhhed at the site of the full moon.

“Where ever you are on the planet, when you look to the sky remember we’re always looking at the same moon,” she shared with a sigh before a dead silence. And as I pushed the off button on my black berry, I took in the moon again, and pondered her words. Such a nice way to connect in the moment, I thought, although it was a quick fix.

It’s those quick fixes of connection that we look for when someone passes. Unfortunately, it’s often after the fact ,that we begin to explore the deep connection with the person who has passed. It’s hard to live every moment with awareness. But we can try as we work on our own personal development.

As a hospice volunteer I am afforded a constant reminder of how quickly the moment can change, how we grow in moments of crisis and what we can learn from it. At the funeral today, I received another reminder. A lovely woman gave me a book and shared this passage from Gift From the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh:

“I want first of all – in fact, as an end to these other desires – to be at peace with my self. I want singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact – to borrow from the language of the saints – to live in grace as much of the time as possible….By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony.”

As above, so below, they say. And as we develop that inward peace and harmony, we share with others outside of our selves. That is, if we make a conscious effort and take the time to do so.

Ed Mills from Evolving times started a meme that asks, what would you do with an extra 36 hours each week? Pricilla Palmer from Personal Development tagged me on this and I’ve given it a lot of thought. Especially in the wake of all the writing I’ve done recently on conquering sensory overload in a 24/7 world.

For me, it’s less about a list than a way of being. I would take 24-hours of it and use it for complete silence. No news, no music, no cell phone, no Black Berry. It’s from that space of peace that I truly believe we can all attain limitless knowledge and peace. But it’s not something that comes overnight. We need lots of 24-hour periods to cultivate that stillness and creatively percolate. And the intention set during such a period is a crucial part of the process.

When you’re that still for a long period of time it feels as if there is no time. It’s stretched to another level of consciousness and becomes limitless. Have you ever noticed that time seems to fly when you’re at an exciting movie, taking a long day at the beach, or spending time with good friends?

Left to our own devices of silence, there’s this creative spark within that has more breathing room to evolve. It’s an inner impulse that can’t help but come forth. With appropriate intent, I believe you can manifest just about anything. You can also initiate positive change especially in your worklife balance scenario.

Sanaya Roman, author of numerous books on personal and spiritual transformation including Personal Power Through Awareness,  talks about this creative energy from within. She speaks of evolving your inner images:

"The time you spend analyzing yourself from a peaceful state brings your unconscious mind into consciousness; through this process evolution occurs."    – Sanaya Roman

So….that’s the first 24 hours. With the remaining 12 hours I would:

1. Spend more time with my family and friends
2. Finish those books I am writing
3. Teach meditation to more business people in the corporate arena who really need a break
4. Spend more time with my Hospice patients as that is one of the most divine gifts this lifetime.
5. And…. figure out why my ranking on Technorati doesn’t record all those darn links to my blog!

So many in the blogesphere have joined in this conversation, so I’d love to hear from anyone who hasn’t been tagged! What would you do with an extra 36-hours.

It’s Labor Day and of course I’m working  – and you’re reading this which means you’re at the very least surfing. Here’s a missive to help you grab a bit of that work life balance we’re all talking about.

If you’re taking a break from the workplace scene today and looking for some inspirational material to sink your teeth into, check out life coach Priscilla Palmer’s recent post on Personal Development blogs. It’s juicy, fun and informative with links to blogs that’ll make you laugh, cry, and perhaps reveal that BIG CAREER IDEA that you’ve been waiting for. Enjoy your holiday! All the best, Judy

If you’d like to listen to some inspirational podcasts with the visionaries in the field of worklife integration head to the WorkLife Monitor Podcasts listing on my site, JudyMartinSpeaks.com.